Impressive Pitch
by tiptop-pussycat
Summary: Top Cat might not have thought this out too carefully, but who was he to ignore an opportunity to make one of his fantasies a reality? After all, he just wants to help the officer out a little.


It was the usual, an ordinary kind of day as Officer Dibble came strolling down the alley - whistling in a carefree manner - patrolling, as is his duty. Spotting Top Cat just about to use the Policeman's phone box - the cat opening the door to the box, almost certainly about to grab for the phone, but not quite, yet - the officer called out to the alley cat.

"Stop right there, you! Don't you even _think_ about it, TC!"

Tapping his foot impatiently, hands on his hips and his baton in one hand, the officer looked down at the alleycat with an agitated scowl smudged across his face. Top Cat's gaze was focused elsewhere, in a lower region, before he chose to look up at the much taller - _and thicker_ , Top Cat would be quick to comment - officer, not long after being called out to.

"Why, if it isn't Officer Dibble! And my..."

Top Cat paused and looked back down, pointing at the officer's crotch, the alley cat with golden fur snickered.

"Pitching an awfully impressive tent today, aren't we?"

"Top Cat! Why you -"

Dibble paused a moment, dropping his baton in shock as he realized that TC hadn't said anything insulting to him. It took a few seconds for his mind to truly process the words he'd just heard the alley cat speak, what they actually meant, and to think of a proper, relevant response.

" _You_ \- You shouldn't be staring at an officer's nether regions like that, TC. It's awfully inappropriate, don't you think!"

The smooth-talking alley cat leaned against the crate he usually has positioned near the phone box, one cheek laying in one of his hands - or rather arguably, his _paw_. He continued on, neglecting to acknowledge Dibble's response to the implications that Top Cat's been getting his own fair share of glances at an area that perhaps he ought not have been glancing at quite so much.

"If I didn't know better, Officer, I'd dare say you're absolutely _escstatic_ to see me!"

The officer tugged at his collar a bit, a hint of sweat gracing his face. Top Cat might have licked his lips a little, perhaps enjoying Dibble's embarassment - and the fact that it's entirely possible that he's the one who is indirectly causing it - a little more than he should. _Though_ , as he thought to himself, he might not want to admit that quite out loud. Not yet, anyways.

"I don't know what you're talking about!"

" _Ain't nothin' to be ashamed of, Dibble_ -"

"I- I mean it, TC! I don't know what you're talking about!"

" _So you've got a little thing for me- who could blame you~?_ "

Leaning further onto his wooden crate, face cradled in both of his hands now, Top cat batted his eyelashes in the officer's direction, smiling ever so sweetly. He diligently made sure to cross his legs a little while standing, _just in case_. Dibble glared at TC, while absent-mindedly observing the motions a little more intently than he would have liked.

"... _If this is another one of your flimsy attempts at gettin' out of trouble, you've got another thing comin', TC_..."

"Oh, Officer Dibble! _I'd never_. I'd hate to take advantage of another man's longing like that -"

Top Cat paused. He had to think a moment if he truly wanted to go through with what he was currently thinking of doing. All of the stars seemed to be aligned, and this is a scenario he's fantasized of for many years. The tall, stout officer longing for him - _excited by the mere sight of him_ \- an opportunity to help him out a little in that department... Of course, he never thought that if such a scenario were to happen it'd play out so closely to his fantasies - but who was he to turn down such a golden opportunity when gifted by its presence?

"- in fact, I'd like to _help_ you out a little."

Dibble squinted in Top Cat's direction, not quite sure if he heard him right and definitely confused about what would entail if he truly _did_ hear him right.

"What do you _mean_...?"

Top Cat walked closer towards Dibble - though Dibble nervously took a few steps back the closer the shmoozing alley cat got.

"TC, I, uh, I don't know what you're planning -"

" _Don't worry about that, officer_ ~"

Not too many steps taken, and eventually Dibble was backed against the nearby apartment building's wall. _This is going surprisingly well_ , Top Cat thought to himself. Dibble's face was flushed red - _comparable to a tomato_ , TC would argue - and sweaty with nervousness as Top Cat's half-lidded eyes were looking up at him. Top Cat licked his lips again before reaching for Dibble's zipper. Dibble gasped just as Top Cat reached for his zipper as he finally decided to push Top Cat away, finding that he's had enough with whatever sick joke Top Cat had in mind.

" _What do you think the big idea is, Top Cat_?!"

Top Cat, being smaller and lighter than the officer he was previously attempting to put the moves on, fell to the ground as soon as he was shoved. From the ground, he continued looking up at Dibble, mouth agape and a look of concern plastered across his face. He couldn't quite decide if he was embarassed, guilty, regretful, or a little bit of all three at once.

"I- Dibble, I'm sorry, I just-"

" _You just thought you could lay your hands on an officer wherever you liked_?!"

"No! No, Officer Dibble, _goodness no_. I just thought..."

Top Cat sighed, burying his face in his hands before continuing.

"I thought this is what you _wanted_? I - I thought I could actually do something... to make you feel good?"

"... Top Cat..."

Dibble started to shuffle away from the wall, closer to Top Cat. He furrowed his brows, intent on listening carefully on whatever Top Cat had to say to him. Getting down on one knee, so that he was closer to Top Cat's eye-level.

"I just, um... I - I guess I've... dreamed of something like this... often enough that I just thought... it'd go like it always does in my head... and... I don't know... Dib, listen to me... I just... I guess it's kinda hard to say it out loud..."

"Well, what is it, Top Cat? Spit it out."

Dibble leaned in so that he was closer to Top Cat, almost at face level if not for the fact that Top Cat was still avoiding eye contact with his head buried in his hands.

"I... I don't know? I must be losing my marbles, _or somethin'_ , cuz... _You know_... I've been thinkin' about it... and maybe... I sort of... You know, they say when a man and a woman love each other very much -"

Top Cat threw his arms into the air in an extragavent fashion of expression before lowering them again, abruptly pausing both the motion and his sentence. The two stared at each other in silence for a minute, before Dibble finally added onto Top Cat's attempt at a confession - a kind unfamiliar to the law - leading him in a direction that would be much easier for Top Cat to continue.

"... _and when a cat loves a cop very much_..."

Top Cat nodded. With one hand, Top Cat reached out for one of Dibble's hands and stroked it gently with his other hand. Staring at Dibble's hand with a half-lidded and mournful expression, Top Cat just sighed again.

"When a cat loves a cop very much, he does very stupid things... Very... _very_ stupid."

Dibble laughed a little.

"Yeah, I agree. That _was_ pretty stupid of you... and not even quite as charming as you usually are..."

Getting up to stand up properly, the hand currently not being held onto by Top Cat placed on his knee for balance, Dibble lifted Top Cat to his feet as well. As soon as the two were on their feet, Top Cat let go of Dibble's hand. Officer Dibble rubbed the back of his head nervously with the hand that hadn't been hold onto while the alley cat was looking away. Top Cat began rubbing one of his upper arms with his hand, just as nervously. The awkward atmosphere was so thick that one could easily claim that it could have been cut with a butterknife.

"We can't do anything like that here in the alley - _it's a public area_ and that would be indecent exposure..."

Dibble paused before continuing. He considered making perhaps one of the stupidest decisions he's made during his fifteen years on the force. Even though he was initially uncomfortable with Top Cat's rather forward and abrupt advances, it wasn't as if he didn't reciprocate whatever Top Cat was feeling. In a more personal, private enviroment... being aware and consenting of whatever the alley cat was trying to do... perhaps the experience could be an enjoyable one. After all, Top Cat was right. He _was_ a little excited to see him...

"But... if you still want to... we could take this back to my apartment... and maybe there we could, uh..."

Looking back at Officer Dibble, Top Cat smiled.

"I think I'd love that, Officer."


End file.
